I couldn’t say whether the man I love

I couldn’t say whether the man I love

I couldn’t say whether the man I love. Question: Hi! I’m a 37-year-elderly person and in a relationship with an individual for a considerable length of time. He more youthful than me and his age is 33 years; he used to be a playboy before he met me however presently he says he isn’t keen on close connections with young ladies, including me. He further made sense of that he is a major part of my life as an ally on the grounds that as of late my significant other died and I have four girls, who are sadly in a shelter.

We previously had actual connections and we engage in sexual relations each time we met. As of late, I met a person with whom I am amicable for the beyond one year. I have let him know everything, including the relationship that I have with the more youthful person for quite some time. I love the individual with whom I have standard love sex without question however he says he is just in my life as an ally and not a love.

I couldn't say whether the man I love

I couldn’t say whether the man I love

The individual whom I met last year needs to have an actual connection with me. How would it be advisable for me to respond? Assuming I have an actual connection with him, I will feel remorseful in light of the fact that I feel like I have undermined the other individual. Be that as it may, he was a playboy and I feel like he is meeting somebody despite my good faith yet every time I inquire as to whether he is undermining me, he denies it. He says he is a changed individual and is presently not the individual he used to be and presently, he is just involved with me.

How would it be advisable for me to respond? Would it be advisable for me to trust him? If it’s not too much trouble, help me. – By Anonymous
Reaction by Rachana Awatramani: Romantic connections can be better overseen and commended when each accomplice has the clearness about what they need and are searching for in a relationship. I comprehend that you are seeing someone five years with a more youthful individual to you.

In any case, he says that he is a major part of your life as a help and not a darling. You notice that you lost your significant other and your four little girls are in a shelter. I get how testing what is going on would be and the unclarity in the relationship may be disappointing you.
Initially, I think you expect to get some down time for you and consider what precisely you want and what sort of relationship you need. Do you need a drawn out relationship?

As you referenced gathering an individual one year prior and he needing to be physical with you. Actual closeness is a piece of a relationship and furthermore organic need, by and by how significant it is for you to make a relationship around it will rely upon your lucidity for yourself.
Besides, Your relationship which is five years of age requires lucidity as you referenced that he isn’t involved with you. I appreciate that you love him yet one can not drive anybody to be seeing someone he just needs to be an emotionally supportive network for you.

He has plainly referenced that to you. I would prescribe to have clear correspondence with him in light of what you are anticipating from this relationship. In the event that he isn’t seeing another person, does he see a relationship with you or is with you till the time he finds another person? You feel assuming you engage with another person you are undermining him and experience the sensation of culpability. You likewise referenced that you question him assuming he is undermining you, which shows trust worries between both of you.


Subsequently, it is significant for you comprehend what you need and afterward address him of what you expect in the relationship. When you see every others assumption it will assist you with pursuing a choice for yourself which can be either a drawn out relationship or termination your friendship so you can continue on with another person or go on for what it’s worth, if that works for both of you and you experience come to make harmony with this.

The decision will be at last yours and either circumstance will be trying for you what you want is to conclude which circumstance you need to adapt and feel more alright with.
Ultimately, address an expert instructor to resolve your past annoying intense subject matters, alongside your ongoing relationship issue. It is fitting to chip away at your needs and necessities throughout everyday life.


The present circumstance is offering you a chance to make present moment and long haul objectives for yourself that you need to accomplish in your life and what is it that you want to have. Having lucidity and making limits in a relationship with clear correspondence of your assumptions with men in your day to day existence will assist you with settling on better choices.

It is fundamental for know the individual’s needs and furthermore comprehend your own needs, which will assist you with having better connections.

  • Ms. Rachana Awatramani is a Counseling Psychologist at Insight Counseling Services in Mumbai

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